I’m an absolute, total bundle of nerves right now. My skin is pins and needles, my tummy is churning, my palms are sweaty, and I’m feeling consistently, slightly dazed.
I’m walking around in a fog today. So much to do, and yet everything seems twice as hard as it should be. And I’m not with it the way I should be. I went for a hair cut this afternoon and only realized I had followed the wrong woman to the back of the salon when she turned to me and asked me to please remove my pants. In the end, I did find my way to the hairdresser’s chair and I even remembered to pay before I left.
People have told me they think I’m brave to pack up and head to Japan for a year. Up until now, I’ve disagreed with them. ‘Til now, it was easy; just lists to make and complete. But now that I’m almost on the plane, I’m feeling scared and inexplicitly sad. In fact, I feel a little like the way I remember feeling before undergoing oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth – I’m nervous about what this will all feel like, worried about being able to put my trust in others for my well being, and hoping I make it through feeling stronger than before the whole procedure.
I think I’ll be fine, especially if I remember to keep breathing.
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