Confessions

It’s one month into the New Year and I have to get some stuff off my chest. I am not an angel, in case you didn’t already know that. I hope none of this is too shocking.

Confession #1

I don’t like tempura. I tell everyone that, when it comes to food, I will eat anything. I can even stomach natto. Tempura, however, makes me want to puke (well, hours later.) The problem is, sometimes wonderful and kind people who insist on ordering for me take me out for a meal and they order… TEMPURA. I eat it. I lie. So there.

Confession #2

Remember that dirty and disgusting house I ended up at when I first arrived? Well, when I moved out I took a few extra little things with me. Here’s an itemized list:
- one pair of scissors
- a roll of packing tape
- a small flashlight
- 2 paperback novels
- half a roll of two-ply toilet paper
Therefore, I am a liar AND a thief.

Don’t hate me yet? Okay, how’s this.

Confession #3

I am a grumpy grinch!
Now, this just happened about 1.5 hours ago and I am waiting for the police to show up at my door and arrest me. My school has already been called, and I hope they accept my lame explanation.

Basically, this is what happened. In December, my students wrote letters to Santa in Canada via the Canada Post programme. The response letters made their way back but with several additional letters to kids in different parts of Japan and several for children in France. FRANCE!

I head to the JP post office, finally, with the best of intentions and some of my own mail and a package. Figuring out how to mail the package is a trial in itself, but we manage. Then, I try to forward these Santa letters and they explain to me that the envelopes are too big for their postal system… there is a huge surcharge for these things. I try to explain that these are lost letters; that they’re not mine. Confusion. I try to explain that I will put them in one envelope then and just send them back to Canada. They want to give me a special delivery EMS envelope. No thanks, why pay the extra to return mail? Why can’t I mail it surface mail? I am frustrated and tired of these letters, so I go to put them in the trash. NO!!! Okay, so they won’t let me throw them out there.

We start over again. This time, I stupidly mention that I am an English ALT at Ota Girls’ and try to explain that these letters are lost and were sent to me by mistake. They try to get someone who speaks English on the phone. I am trapped and have just about enough of the whole thing. We don’t get any further. More frustration. I try and fail again at attempting to toss the letters in their garbage. I leave. I spot a mailbox and think, “These are either lost with me, or lost with a postal service. I am sure they will have better luck with the postal service. After all, if I was in Canada…” My address isn’t on the letters, only Santa’s in Canada, and the indented recipients. So, I shove them in the box, not even considering the fact that I have another option: walk away, relax, and try another way at another time.

So, now the letters are out of my possession; I don’t know if the kids who originally mailed Santa will ever get their mail; my school was called by the post office to alert them that there was some confusion (great!); and I feel like crap and am waiting to see if the police will come get me for putting strange packages in the mail.

There, so how do you like me now?